It was a discussion I had with Guestblogger Justin a few days ago, about a personal dilemma, a fear that the flames of creativity that burnt brightly within my soul had completely been extinguished, my ocean of genius had been sucked dry by a vortex of disappointment (that occurred when two consecutive short films I wanted to make had to be shelved, or most likely scrapped, after some cast members were unable to make any commitments).
Of course, my personal depression also came from the fact that I was, or rather, AM, reading a shitty book that annoyed me beyond description, giving me fits and wanting me to hurl it out of the window. The book is Haruki Murakami's Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. Let's just say that I entirely agree with one of the featured reader reviews that said: A lot of people say that Murakami is a genius and if you didn't "get" his books then you're simply not smart enough. As an artist, I see this attitude a lot in art as well. Here's the truth: *people often say they "got it" even when they haven't, for fear of appearing stupid.* Yeah, screw him. Perhaps not him, but screw this book for making me SO pissed off. Thanks a fucking million for tossing all kinds of random scenarios, stories within stories that are entirely irrelevant to the subplot, characters I have no emotional attachments to etc etc upon my face, Mr Murakami.
Now, where was I? Right, this is an entry where I, a supposed filmmaker, ponders about the films he should be doing in the near future before he wastes away, and everyone totally forgets about him and his brilliant filmmaking genius.
However, my flames of determination were briefly rekindled from the most unexpected of sources just last night. What did I do? Nothing much, just showing off my previous short film, Forced Labour, to someone. Now, if you are a regular visitor of this site, and you have yet to watch Forced Labour, you oughta be ASHAMED of yourself. My short film, Forced Labour, can be viewed here.
(And while you're at it, make sure you watch my very first film, A Boring Story too.)
For the past few weeks, I was plagued with a feeling of, well, self-doubt, as in, a depression knowing that my short films don't really age well (hence I never bother watching my stuff much after it's done, even if I do, it's more likely that I'm showing it to someone, watching his or her reaction, than to really concentrate on the film itself). Yet last night, I concentrated on the film itself, discerning both its merits (it's stylish, kinda hip, sorta cool), and its weaknesses (it's rather incomprehensible, pacing's too fast). And I started missing making short films even more.
I have made some mentions about two projects I was working on last year, one of them being Aisyalam, a Malay-language sci-fi film based on the Hang Tuah (a popular Malaysian folk hero) folklore, whilst the other was meant to be a spin-off of Aisyalam, which is in Hindi. (the scene which I shot for Aisyalam, and nearly got arrested, can be viewed here, I'm such a hero). It is rather difficult for me to make these two films now since one of my supposed main actor (the guy who plays Hang Tuah) has graduated, and without the main thing, I won't really have the motivation to do a spin-off. Gah.
However, I am still planning to do the following:
P. S. It seems that my archnemesis at BoingBoing had just reported about NBC demanding Youtube to take down the Saturday Night Live skit, Lazy Sunday. Which sucks, since seeing those two wannabe rappers rapping about er, Narnia. Which sucks, since I agree with Pat McCarthy about NBC messing this up big time, that damned video was great publicity for SNL. This is NBC biting the viral hand that feeds it, I find this just as ridiculous as published authors demanding fanfic writers NOT to write fanfics of their works at all. Hey, wait a minute...
I actually posted that video on this site a month ago, you can view it here. It's the last one.
Of course, my personal depression also came from the fact that I was, or rather, AM, reading a shitty book that annoyed me beyond description, giving me fits and wanting me to hurl it out of the window. The book is Haruki Murakami's Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. Let's just say that I entirely agree with one of the featured reader reviews that said: A lot of people say that Murakami is a genius and if you didn't "get" his books then you're simply not smart enough. As an artist, I see this attitude a lot in art as well. Here's the truth: *people often say they "got it" even when they haven't, for fear of appearing stupid.* Yeah, screw him. Perhaps not him, but screw this book for making me SO pissed off. Thanks a fucking million for tossing all kinds of random scenarios, stories within stories that are entirely irrelevant to the subplot, characters I have no emotional attachments to etc etc upon my face, Mr Murakami.
Now, where was I? Right, this is an entry where I, a supposed filmmaker, ponders about the films he should be doing in the near future before he wastes away, and everyone totally forgets about him and his brilliant filmmaking genius.
However, my flames of determination were briefly rekindled from the most unexpected of sources just last night. What did I do? Nothing much, just showing off my previous short film, Forced Labour, to someone. Now, if you are a regular visitor of this site, and you have yet to watch Forced Labour, you oughta be ASHAMED of yourself. My short film, Forced Labour, can be viewed here.
(And while you're at it, make sure you watch my very first film, A Boring Story too.)
For the past few weeks, I was plagued with a feeling of, well, self-doubt, as in, a depression knowing that my short films don't really age well (hence I never bother watching my stuff much after it's done, even if I do, it's more likely that I'm showing it to someone, watching his or her reaction, than to really concentrate on the film itself). Yet last night, I concentrated on the film itself, discerning both its merits (it's stylish, kinda hip, sorta cool), and its weaknesses (it's rather incomprehensible, pacing's too fast). And I started missing making short films even more.
I have made some mentions about two projects I was working on last year, one of them being Aisyalam, a Malay-language sci-fi film based on the Hang Tuah (a popular Malaysian folk hero) folklore, whilst the other was meant to be a spin-off of Aisyalam, which is in Hindi. (the scene which I shot for Aisyalam, and nearly got arrested, can be viewed here, I'm such a hero). It is rather difficult for me to make these two films now since one of my supposed main actor (the guy who plays Hang Tuah) has graduated, and without the main thing, I won't really have the motivation to do a spin-off. Gah.
However, I am still planning to do the following:
- Adapt any of Guestblogger Justin's short stories if I have the chance (it was my original plan anyway, before I was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of patriotism and wanted to do a Malay-language sci-fi film).
- Adapt any of those public domain works, either from here, or here. Difficult to choose since they are mostly large-scale projects. Not advisable for a poor uni student filmmaker like me.
- Adapt MY OWN Tales of the Blogosphere. (You can read chapter 1, chapter 2 and chapter 3.) Unfortunately, despite their greatness, I've only done 3 chapters, and I don't find myself motivated enough to do another chapter (unless you missed it the first time around, it was meant to be a SATIRE)
- Do a variety show of sorts that appear online weekly, or daily. Something like Rocketboom. After all, being Malaysia's most prolific vlogger, it IS a logical thing to do anyway. Alas, hot babes are needed, and I will have some difficulty finding some.
P. S. It seems that my archnemesis at BoingBoing had just reported about NBC demanding Youtube to take down the Saturday Night Live skit, Lazy Sunday. Which sucks, since seeing those two wannabe rappers rapping about er, Narnia. Which sucks, since I agree with Pat McCarthy about NBC messing this up big time, that damned video was great publicity for SNL. This is NBC biting the viral hand that feeds it, I find this just as ridiculous as published authors demanding fanfic writers NOT to write fanfics of their works at all. Hey, wait a minute...
I actually posted that video on this site a month ago, you can view it here. It's the last one.
